Now I ask ya: What’s life without the ironclad discipline of a schedule?
“Operation: Morning” begins the night before. Mom pulled her car out of the driveway into the street. The old man arrives around 5:30, pulling right into the garage. She pulled back in behind him after supper.
Downstairs alarm first. She gets up, goes to the bathroom, hurries to the kitchen. (The night before she put coffee in the percolator.) She gets the pot going, wakes the ogre. He staggers to the bathroom, dresses in crappy clothes, pours a cup. Mom enters bathroom with school clothes. There’s some wonderful nutritious food on the table–doughnuts, Tastycakes (of course), coffee cakes, sticky buns, etc. He sits, starts eating, dog is next to him, tap-dancing on the tile floor. Feed me, feed me.
He puts his coat on, dog doing the West Texas Waltz. Time to go out and shit! Praises be. Into the field, pheasants calling, groundhogs stand and watch.
Back door closes, she wakes our hero. I hit the head, get myself cereal, milk, juice. She returns to the can to do makeup. I wolf food (see below), even though I’m barely functioning. Dog is done pooing, he runs to the front, grabs the paper, both come in back door.
He sits, returns to the coffee and junk food. He does not speak. Dog resumes tap dancing. Last bite of food, he dips it in coffee, feeds the hound. Chugs the coffee, lights his first cigarette, smoke fills the kitchen. I’m still eating (rarely do I finish on time). The kitchen fills with smoke. I’m nauseated. Bathroom door opens, mom is done. The Cig and the old man enter the throne room with the work clothes–he’ll be there over an hour.
I scan the funnies, get dressed to rock and roll. Mom leaves, giving me any last-minute instructions (her car was behind his). I go next, without a word.
Only variation is rain or snow, where I must stop eating and towel off dog feet–he does not like feet being touched, so I must hurry or he’ll bite. Miss the bus? Oh God , no; then he’ll have to bring me, which neither of us want to happen (smoke filled car, hacking child).