Being a girl can be difficult………..
Two days back in school from break. Everyone’s pissy, from the Foon on down.
There is a disturbance in the force. A girl named Patti got new clothes under her tree. A black crushed velvet mini-dress and super-sized heels like Veronica. Patti was very short, 5′ on tiptoe. So when she wore the whole ensemble with white tights, she resembled a long pair of legs with a head on top.
She was first spotted down the third floor hall. “Holy Jesus! Who the hell is that???”
“I think it’s Patti.”
“The girl with the braces?”
“Yeah. Shit, when did she decide to look good?”
You get the drift. I got a longer look and noticed she was walking very weird, barely lifting her feet. She was as steady in those shoes as a dancer on a wet jetty.
Next day, I’m coming in and she’s three steps ahead. Without a warning, she slips on the wet floor and falls into my arms. Yep, Five feet of legs in my strong, pseudo-macho arms. “Hi, Patty. watch your step.”
She is humiliated, giving me a weak steely smile. “I’m sorry, New shoes. Someone should mop this damn floor.”
News travels fast, as you’ve seen. By the time Allie and I convene, I’m a gossip flashpoint. Allie shakes her head. “She’s so stupid. I bet she never wore those shoes before school started. Even with the curb feelers [see earlier posts about fashion], she’s gonna fall on her face. You can’t just buy things like that and think your high hopes will give you balance.” A laugh. “She’s barely five feet tall. Does she think this is going to worry Veronica?? I do pity her a little, do you have any idea the pain she must feel by 3 o’clock?’
[Do I sense cat claws?] That’s a rhetorical question, methinks—best keep my mouth tight as super glue.
“By next week, she’ll have bruises and those shoes will be in her closet.”
The following Tuesday, Patti has an ankle wrapped in an ace bandage. She’s sitting out gym for a week. The shoes are placed on indefinite medical leave.