Television: My Best Friend

From that moment ’till the spot disappears
Man, I could be anywhere

Not only were these the days before remotes, these were days before color. Your TV took a minute to warm up (forever to a 4-year old, let me tell you) and you changed channels manually. Switching it off shrank the picture to a small glowing orb in mid-screen that would fade in a minute or two.

Even though we were hours from Philadelphia, we could pull in all three networks with only a decent sized set of ‘rabbit ears” (a simple contraption of two adjustable 3 foot antennas that sat on your tv and screwed into the set). As the farms died off and more and more people and buildings came to disrupt the signal, the reception waned……a challenge we will tackle later.

In addition to Captain Kangaroo (before celebs said Good Morning to him), we had local AM programs of Pixanne and Gene London (both long gone), and the PM showstopper, Sally Starr (my father delighted in telling me she entered an alcohol rehab hospital near us). All three shows were built off a healthy (ahem) dose of cartoons. I vaguely remember a charming show called Bertie the Bunyip. My wife saw the show live when she was young, which has, alas, turned finally turned my blue eyes green with envy.

At this point, Please bear with me as I list all the ‘toons I devoured hungrily–maybe it’ll stir some memories for you: Popeye, Dudley Do-Right, Top Cat (one of my favorites), Dick Tracy, Tom Terrific, Yogi Bear, Deputy Dawg, Beanie and Cecil, Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har, Touche Turtle and Dum Dum, Wally Gator, Hercules, Tennessee Tuxedo (Don Adams!), Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse (very cool jazz music), Tooter Turtle (Paul Westerberg of the Replacements obviously watched this), Mr. Magoo, Jetsons, Casper (with cute blonde witch Wendy, who apparently had no feet) , Underdog (Wally Cox!), Hoppity Hooper, Commander McBragg, Linus the Lionhearted, Magilla Gorilla, Peter Potamus, Ricochet Rabbit, Atom Ant, Hillbilly Bears (the only show my father enjoyed), Jonny Quest (why did that dog never go to the bathroom like our dog did?), Secret Squirrel, Punkin’ Puss, Hercules, King Kong, Snagglepuss, Yacky Doodle, Cool McCool, George of the Jungle, The Wacky Races (and the spinoff: The Perils of Penelope Pitt-stop featuring Paul Lynde), Tom Slick, Super Chicken, and of course, plenty of Flintstones, Warners Toons with Bugs and Daffy, and Bullwinkle with the Fractured Fairy Tales, and Mr. Peabody.

I could never figure out why ‘Sugar Bear’ vanished–well, this show featured three different characters pictured on Post Cereal boxes. The hero gained super powers after devouring the Post Cereal, a la Popeye and his beloved spinach. Thanks to computer research, I learned the FCC forced it off the air, judging it to be little more than a 30-minute Post advertisement. I have hazy memories of an Asian character that was so racist as to be insulting now.

Most of the toons had comic book spinoffs that I nabbed when I could (no stores in walking distance). I had a Beanie hat with a little disc it you wound up and launched. I know I had Flintstones toys–the cars and a plastic Dino the Dinosaur (with Baby Blue Eyes).

It would have been impossible for a narrow-minded person like my father to comprehend what this new media would do to the young minds of the baby boomers. While the programs were never as forward thinking as Sesame Street, they opened watchers’ imaginations. A hippo in a hot air balloon traveling to foreign countries, a turtle trying to succeed at a variety of jobs you never knew existed, a boy with a sixty foot tall ape to protect him, and shows poking fun at pretentious adults or the fairy tales you were learning. TV was far more fun than standing outside, handing dad tools and listening to him explain how motors ran.

Next time: A brief geography lesson & ‘The garbage men did WHAT?”