Not exactly what they were hoping for…..
Once a week, the Assistant Principal held ‘Orientation’ class. As I said, he was a large imposing man with a crimson face ravaged by teenage acne. He endeavored to show his softer side here (more Andy Griffith, less Goebbels), and by and large he succeeded.
In the beginning, he just talked about adjusting to climbing the stairs, having different teachers, lunchroom etiquette, and dos and donts like no chewing gum, no smoking, no spitballs, no stage diving (well, maybe not that), etc.
He stood there, pissing in the wind, saying we were all in this together and no one should look down on anyone else. Ask strangers to sit with you, talk to kids you didn’t know–they had something to share that you might like. Rich kids roll their eyes–go jerk off to someone who cares, asshole.
Wait–you mean this WASN’T some sort of involuntary detainment center? Locked in a 70 year old building for 8 hours every day was actually a light and tumble journey to some lush green park?
Later, he used this forum to ‘talk to your kids about drugs.’ We received multi-colored handouts (with cartoons and bright colors, so we would read them) obviously emanating from some dastardly Washington DC agency: listing drugs, their harmful effects, and how all of them led to heroin addiction and death in a ratty New York City doorway.
One of his lectures hit home, but not the way he wanted. When he discussed alcohol and marijuana, he used the word ‘euphoria’.
Euphoria, huh? I knew what that meant. Troubles were far away. Cruel screaming fathers faded, at least for awhile. All you had to do was : a) find the stuff and b) find a place to put it into your body. All the while avoiding cops, like a board game.
First thing, you had to get a late curfew and get access to a car, yours or someone else’s. Then you had to figure out how to get back home and into bed without parents knowing.
As we sat in the dark watching a hopelessly hokey movie about how we could destroy our lives so easily, my eyes lit up.
From that moment on, I knew I would be smoking weed, even though I hated cigarettes. I would be drinking beer, even though the last time I tasted it, it was godawful. Thank you, Mr. S, for giving my life so much meaning.