Category: Uncategorized

Good afternoon. I am the Irony inspector. I examine all blog posts to flag statements that bear the hallmarks of sweaty-earlobe irony. I apologize for interrupting this broadcast of ‘The Young and the Extremely Restless.” The blogger stated in his last post that ‘there is no accordion in rock and roll.’ This statement was rendered… Continue reading We Interrupt this program for an important message

There she is, a grin pasted on and God knows what’s behind it. She gazes lovingly at girls not us; I wonder why. “Young ladies and Gentlemen, tonight we’ll start with some introductions, some lessons, and the housekeeping. First of all, these wonderful gentlemen behind me are Bill Scovill and his Merry Men.” She claps,… Continue reading The Welcome Speech

Boys sit on the left, girls on the right. A 1930’s parquet dance floor separates us–demilitarized zone of the battle of the sexes (junior varsity division). We helplessly stare, slumped in existential crises. Around 25 of each sex, 60% are from Rich Town. We eye up the girls. Many faces seem familiar, but the long… Continue reading ‘Welcome to the Pleasure Dome’, er, I mean ‘The Cotillion’

Save That Last Dance! The C twins were transplants into Rich Town–arriving here from a planet out west around 4th grade. They came out of the sun, like a marshall to clean up Dodge. Here’s their theme: The C’s were a fascinating study in group dynamics. Two gorgeous identical twins, with the cutest nose and… Continue reading The other CEO’s: The C Twins

Chimney sweep with guise! Dave had spotted J, a vision in white. J was our silver-white blonde. VERY tall, more than even Betty. She was a Rich Town product, and with hair like that, instantly carried a place in the hierarchy. Boys were fascinated, girls wanted to know her. But she colored outside the lines;… Continue reading J, The Cotillion CEO

Thought you were chasing a destiny calling Impossible as it seems now, in the 60’s the Who were not exactly doing well in the US. They were what you’d call ‘an acquired taste’. Tommy was not out yet, and Who’s Next was years away. Steve tells me this band has what it takes, but they… Continue reading Music Memories #3

Well, at least it’s not raining. Mom has the ironing board out, my pant cuffs could cut steel. The phone rings. It’s my aunt. Is Tonight the night, she asks. Mom says yes. My aunt chuckles. The beauty parlor is bursting with seventh grade girls, mothers hovering like spring locusts. The owner complaining her workers… Continue reading Oh God. It’s tonight.

What will this evening bring me this morning? Mom is driving, of course. We pick up Dan and maybe one other kid. I rode shotgun, immersed. Dan, as usual, is King of the Night. He’s hanging ten on his libido wave. He’s already full of obscene assessments of girls. We talk around things, mom doesn’t… Continue reading On Our Way!

So we got the clothes and the special invite. Lined up the cars to drop Dan and I off and pick us up. I have a vague idea how to dance. Got the clip on tie. The old man gives pocket square for my suit jacket. So we talk it over. What else can make… Continue reading Cotillion Prep 3: Now What?

With several hundred kids in the building. the venial sin of chewing gum ran wild. Here they come, the army of uncontrolled middle-class teens chewing gum. Stay in your homes until you hear the siren. Chewing gum TV ads were everywhere. Double Mint, Beech Nut’s Yipes Stripes, Clark’s Teaberry, Big Red, and the old standby… Continue reading Gum!