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Boners and Washing Dogs…. In third grade, I remember seeing a kid laugh so hard he fell out of his chair. We had an English book and there was a story about a boy taking his muddy dog to a swanky place that washed dogs. There was an illustration, and it showed the dog covered… Continue reading First Time for Everything

Why, or why, dear Lord, was this exercise in stupidity so savored by adults? Oh, and did you say ‘dodgeball’?  Well, they tried that.  Sure, let’s go. What can go wrong? Well, plenty! Here’s what happened:  Rule 1—Boys can only throw at boys (constant boy on girl harassment with associated puddles of tears). Girls can… Continue reading Gym III: Dodge Ball and the Labyrinth of Rules

Or, ‘Karma Bites the hand of the Powerful’ While I grant you that it must have been a bitch to think of things to do with 50+ kids throughout the winter, you can’t just wing it as your passions dictate. One day he was in ‘THE mood’, and decided the boys were going to do… Continue reading Elementary Gym Class II: The Saga of Cold Steel and Warm Flesh

“What devil art thou that dost torment me thus? This torture should be roar’d in dismal hell.” Our auditorium doubled as our gym.  Useless basketball nets on both sides of the room–you couldn’t even contemplate getting a ball up there until at least fifth grade..  That was it. The stage took up half of the… Continue reading Ahhhh, Gym Class (everybody sigh with pleasure)

When She’s Collecting S&H Green Stamps, of course! You didn’t live through the 60’s without being intimate with Green Stamps. Though they were hardly a new ‘thang’, grocery stores/supermarkets (even gas stations!) used Green Stamps as promotional items to get women in the door. “In the beginning”……………..a separate dispenser sat on top of the cash… Continue reading Riddle Me This, Batman: When is a Stamp Collector NOT a Philatelist?

Weird Scenes in Dark Hallways Before I go on, yes, we had the nuclear explosion drill–first and second grade. Get under your desk, cover your head. You’d exchange goofy looks with your friends, the girls would giggle and smile at you. Of course, that first grade teacher didn’t take no mess, so if you laughed,… Continue reading Elementary School Rituals–the Strange and the Wacky

Sometimes The Field just didn’t cut it! There comes a time when running barefoot through the weeds isn’t enough. With no playground or pool, where does a poor little baby-boomer-to-be hang out?  Well, the corner store became the fallback.  There was a huge parking lot and plenty of room near the store to park your… Continue reading A Guide to Hanging Out in Far Suburbia

“Books are a uniquely portable magic”–Stephen King Those trips to the children’s library and the cheap supermarket books paid dividends once I started school. You didn’t have tell me twice to read out loud. I don’t remember much about titles except “Cupcakes or Rocks?” and “Scat Scat Little Cat”. Supposedly, I loved a book about… Continue reading Reading–I caught the bug!

‘Fire and Flame to Suburbs come in the year Nineteen and Sixty-Three’ There was a mountain west of me that, at the turn of century, folks visited to ‘take the waters’ that were allegedly curative. The landscape was dominated by three huge hotels that together could house thousands at one time. All had spacious horse… Continue reading With Apologies to Al Stewart…

‘Father Knows Best’?? Ha! If Daddy didn’t talk during dinner, no one spoke. Children should be seen and not heard. A friend of mine called this male parenting ‘benign neglect.’ Hands off and hope for the best. Sometimes he’d vent about a co-worker, but usually those stories were saved until I left the table. Much… Continue reading The Angry King at rest: 5:30-?