“What devil art thou that dost torment me thus? This torture should be roar’d in dismal hell.”
Our auditorium doubled as our gym. Useless basketball nets on both sides of the room–you couldn’t even contemplate getting a ball up there until at least fifth grade.. That was it. The stage took up half of the room, and racks of folding chairs were stored on one side. For lunch, the janitor set up at least 25 long tables and accompanying chairs, then tear it all down if rain forced us inside for gym.
In the sixties, gym class was really emphasized. Children had to be physically fit in order to meet the challenge of our new exciting frontier. But the consequence was that gym teachers took everything to heart and envisioned their classes on a par with Reading and Arithmetic. Healthy Body creates Healthy mind? Ummmmm, no.
I wish I could say our boys’ gym teacher somehow evaded Hollywood cliches, but I can’t. Worn out shirts, beat up sneakers from the big war. An ex-military man with bulging stomach and disintegrating hair held down by Bryllcream (“a little dab’ll do ya!”). The perfect start to class was a brisk run up the hill and back. Then fall out, stand at attention, followed by ‘at ease’ to receive your instructions. He was also prone to haphazard mood shifts, which is the last thing you need at 10 AM on cold fall days. “Go run again.” Then as we’d finish, he’d just wave a beefy paw—Keep going. At times he’d single someone out as class started–“you know, Harris, you’re gonna owe me some push ups.” Other days he was your friendly grandpa—smiling and laughing as we kicked a ball around or played softball.
You wore gym clothes under street clothes. If they weren’t white, you could expect subtle snide mumbling. Cold, damp air? “Whatsamatter, Harris? You cold? Aw, maybe you need to run another lap.” Slip and falls were usually cured by being ordered to haul your butt up and be a man.
Come winter, boys and girls were together inside, often for volleyball. The favorite activity was a huge inflated ball four feet high, covered in cloth. Teams tried to push the ball from one side to the other. The best part was if you got a grip on the ball as the group pushed it, you would ride over the top of the ball, for a brief view from way up high.
But as we will soon see, indoor gym didn’t always mesh with moody teachers. Heh heh.